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By Vanessa Lyn Gonzales | 7 min read
The worst moment was not the shower drain, though that was bad. It was a photograph.
A photo taken at my daughter's graduation, outdoors, in direct sunlight. In the photo, I can see — clearly and unmistakably — the top of my scalp through my hair.
I am 50 years old, and in that photograph I look like I am losing my hair in a way I can no longer pretend to myself is unnoticeable.
I had known, of course. The pillow.
The brush. The drain.
The way I had gradually stopped wearing my hair up. The way I had quietly moved to a darker shade because somehow it felt less visible.
I knew. I just had not seen it from the outside, from someone else's perspective, the way a camera catches you without the benefit of denial.
That was about eighteen months ago. What I know now, and what I want to share, is not a miracle story.
It is a more useful story than that: a story about finally understanding what was actually happening, and finding a response that was designed for it.
Here is what the research actually shows.
The diagnosis I eventually gave myself
My GP had, by this point, told me my bloods were normal and my thyroid was fine. She was not wrong.
But she had also told me that menopausal hair changes were "common" and "to be expected" — which, while true, is not particularly useful information when you are staring at a graduation photograph wondering how long before other people notice what you have been trying not to see.
I spent a significant amount of time reading. I read trichology papers.
I read forum threads on Mumsnet — more of those than I would readily admit. And I slowly assembled an understanding of what was actually happening.
During perimenopause and menopause, oestrogen declines. Oestrogen normally prolongs the hair growth phase and suppresses the influence of androgens — male hormones that women also carry — on hair follicles.
As oestrogen falls, a hormone called DHT becomes more active relative to it. DHT binds to follicle receptors and causes progressive miniaturisation.
Hair becomes finer, shorter, and less dense with each growth cycle. The follicles are not dead.
But they are working in a hormonal environment that is no longer supporting them.
This understanding matters because it points directly at what the right response should be: not products designed to make existing hair look better, but a routine designed to support the follicular environment against the mechanism that is changing it.
What I tried before I found what worked
I had tried biotin supplements for six months. I tried a "hair growth" vitamin that was, on examination, mostly B vitamins with very little meaningful clinical evidence behind it.
I tried two premium shampoos — one of which was genuinely excellent for texture but did nothing for density. I tried not blow-drying.
I considered minoxidil and decided, after reading the research, that I was not ready for the commitment and potential side effects.
None of these moved the needle on what I cared most about: the crown, the parting, the temples.
If you recognise what's described above, ThickTails has built a detailed guide to perimenopause and menopause hair changes — covering the hormonal science and how to build a consistent routine around it. Read the full guide here →
The ingredients I eventually focused on — and why
After enough reading, a few ingredients kept appearing in the clinical literature with meaningful evidence behind them for hormonal hair loss specifically.
Saw palmetto extract inhibits 5-alpha-reductase, the enzyme that produces DHT. Clinical studies have found it associated with improvements in hair quality and density, with a low side effect profile.
Topical caffeine has been shown to penetrate the follicle and may help counter some of DHT's effects, as well as supporting scalp microcirculation. One clinical study found it non-inferior to 5% minoxidil over six months.
Red clover extract and acetyl tetrapeptide-3 have also been studied in post-menopausal women with positive results in clinical trials.
I was not looking for a promise. I was looking for a reasonable evidence base and a formulation designed around the hormonal mechanism I was dealing with — rather than a generic hair thickening product designed for all hair types and none in particular.
“The follicles are not dead. They are working in a hormonal environment that is no longer supporting them. That distinction matters enormously.”
What consistency over 90 days actually produced
I want to be careful here, because individual results vary and I am one person. What I can say is this: at the three-month mark, my hair was shedding less in the shower.
Not dramatically less — but measurably less. At six months, my parting looked narrower than it had in the photograph.
Not narrow — but narrower. The crown was not something I could style around invisibly, but it was not the thing that dominated every interaction I had with a mirror.
I still do not wear my hair up the way I used to. But I wear it up occasionally.
That is new. That matters to me more than I would have predicted.
The graduation photograph still sits in a frame in the hallway. I look at it differently now — not with the lurch of recognition I used to feel, but with something closer to acceptance, and occasionally, something closer to hope.
Hormonal hair change is a journey. There is a path forward.
ThickTails has developed a guide specifically for women navigating perimenopause and menopause hair changes — covering the science, the research-backed ingredients, and how to build a consistent 90-day routine. Use code HORMONEAWARE15 for 15% off your first order.
Build Your Hormone-Aware Routine →
Clinical references
1. Dhurat R, et al. "An Open-Label Randomized Multicenter Study Assessing the Noninferiority of a Caffeine-Based Topical Liquid 0.2% versus Minoxidil 5% Solution in Male Androgenetic Alopecia." Skin Pharmacology and Physiology, 2018. View on PubMed →
2. Evron E, et al. "Natural Hair Supplement: Friend or Foe? Saw Palmetto, a Systematic Review in Alopecia." Skin Appendage Disorders, 2020. View on PubMed →
3. Lueangarun S, Panchaprateep R. "An Herbal Extract Combination (Biochanin A, Acetyl Tetrapeptide-3, and Ginseng Extracts) versus 3% Minoxidil Solution for the Treatment of Androgenetic Alopecia." Journal of Clinical and Aesthetic Dermatology, 2020. View on PubMed Central →
Vanessa Lyn Gonzales writes about women's health, hormonal transitions, and midlife wellbeing. This article is for informational purposes and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult your GP or a qualified trichologist regarding any health concerns.
